Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle
Danny is ur dad’s brother and Jeff is ur mom’s
Home
- what the hell is a mortgage?
- first apartment essentials checklist
- how to care for cacti and succulents
- the care and keeping of plants
- Getting an apartment
Money
- earn $50-$100 by taking surveys
- how to coupon
- what to do when you can’t pay your bills
- see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
- how to save money
- How to Balance a Check Book
- How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
- how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
- things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
- how to get free therapy
- what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
- how to make a doctor’s appointment
- how to pick a health insurance plan
- how to avoid a hangover
- a list of stress relievers
- how to remove a splinter
Emergency
- what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
- a list of hotlines in a crisis
- things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
- how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
- time management
- create a resume
- find the right career
- how to pick a major
- how to avoid a hangover
- how to interview for a job
- how to stop procrastinating
- How to write cover letters
Travel
- ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
- Traveling for Cheap
- Travel Accessories
- The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
- How To Read A Map
- How to Apply For A Passport
- How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
- read the news
- leave your childhood traumas behind
- how to quit smoking
- how to knit
- how to stop biting your nails
- how to stop procrastinating
- how to stop skipping breakfast
- how to stop micromanaging
- how to stop avoiding asking for help
- how to stop swearing constantly
- how to stop being a pushover
- learn another language
- how to improve your self-esteem
- how to sew
- learn how to embroider
- how to love yourself
- 100 tips for life
days of the week;
monday: snoozing your alarm clock, navy, seeing the moon in the morning, vanilla ice cream, writing poetry, blurry photographs, windswept hair, iced coffee
tuesday: seeing a cat on the street, a light rain shower, untied shoelaces, indistinct music from someone else’s earphones, empty coffee shops, denim jackets, long train rides
wednesday: pastel highlighters, drinking water, group laughter, plucking daisy petals, floral scents, counting down to a birthday, peonies
thursday: old books, a downpour, telling the truth, comfortable silence, hand holding, wrapping a gift, the smell of leather, reminiscence
friday: neon lights, sweet cravings, a little bit drunk, falling in love with a stranger, remembering your dreams, cherry red, late night showers, desserts at midnight
saturday: watering plants, childhood cartoons, a bowl of cereal, meeting someone new, waking up early and laying in bed, spontaneous plans, sitting on a rooftop
sunday: strawberry smoothies, golden hour, a soft feeling of wistfulness, lazy afternoons, 4pm naps, lofi mixes, deja vu, long daydreams, lighting sparklers
(Source: esperides)
“Please save me! I’ll do anything for you!” “Then perish.”
“Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.”
“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”
“…Then I shall face God, and walk backwards into hell.”
“…I’d strike the sun if it insulted me.”-All of these are from shitposts, regrettably not from literary classics.